2 min. read
socialname dot md
cw: control (2019) spoilers, i swear it will make sense
I want to announce publicly that I want to be called by a social name. My name is now "Jesse Dylan", and I want to explain how I came to this conclusion.
So some month ago, days after my birthday, I realized that my indentity in my whole life was forged by others, not by me. So I sought what was my identity in this world.
I came to conclusion that, I am a trans man, but... I am a woman too? And sometimes I feel more a man than a woman, and vice versa.
With this feeling, I came to conclusion that I am Bigender, Boygirl and Bigenderflux. And... I also came to conclusion that my current name doesn't feels right to me.
At first, I tried only Dylan because of Control: it's an unissex name. It felt awkward at first but I got used it. And some time passed and I resonate with Jesse too, also because of Control.
In the game, there is a part where Dylan, corrupted by the Hiss, says that he finds weird that their names are unissex, and says that he dreamed where they were a single person called "Jesse Dylan". This part alone kept in my mind for days. And somehow this resonates with me a lot. So I thought: "why not"?
Also, it's very common in Brazil to have "two-in-one" names or something like that (Mozhi suggested "compound name" for "nome composto", I don't know if this is accurate lol. Also ditch Google Translate and anything Google hehehe): some examples are famous footballers "Yuri Alberto" and "Bruno Henrique".
So I'm Jesse Dylan now.
There's also a couple of reasons why I chose this name too, but they're very personal and I don't feel comfortable to share it now, even with my friends.
If we know each other, you can keep calling me by my dead name, but it would be nicer if you get used to my social name. Also, you can alternate by calling me Jesse, Dylan or both (just like the person with Dylan's dream). I'll try to adapt things to reflect my current social name, so please, don't mind the mess. This include the website: the domain (I plan to buy a domain, tho) and the about me section.
This was quite a difficult choice, since my dead name was chose by my mother, and I love her. But I'm glad I went this way.